Planes, Trains, and Automobiles ... and 11 cats.

NB: Were I to delve into the true nature of this trip, I've no doubt this entry would devolve into the longest string of expletives in known human history. Given that some older people read this, not to mention strangers, I'll keep it to the impersonal, benign, but hopefully still interesting facts:

Mile 0:
Sit in car in Pacifica, CA and wait for passenger and dog to appear. Read Calvin and Hobbes 10th Anniversary book I picked up along with 3 small notebooks and a very inky pen.

Mile 2:
Stop at a mailbox.

Mile 12:
Stop in front of grandmother's house to say "goodbye, and "don't worry." Get ready to leave, then realize the keys are still in the trunk lock. Hope this doesn't destroy any grandmotherly confidence.

Mile 130:
Arrive in Lodi, CA (or near it) and meet a nice middle-to-older-aged couple who offer a place to sleep and Dr. Pepper, gladly accept. Sleep in an RV in their driveway with passenger, dog, and 11 cats.

Wake up, clean a month's worth of cat hair out of the RV, transport cats one by one to the car, learning how to lock a cat's arms (and how to get the shit scratched out of you when you don't).

Leave in earnest, all 13 passengers accounted for.

Mile 131:
Stop to clean up cat vomit from nervous cats. This will be the first of several occurrences within the first half hour, but the only one dealt with while not in motion.

Mile 257:
Stop for gas at a Chevron in Truckee, where Donner Party memorials and parks abound - try not to take this as a bad omen.

Mile 267:
Return to the same Chevron in Truckee, looking in desperation for the iPod I left on the back of the car. Nobody's seen it.
Briefly mourn the loss of the only instrument of entertainment/escapism/relaxation I brought with me - the car doesn't have even a radio - before even leaving California.

On the way out, accidentally leave behind a nearly-full bag of beef jerky. Spend the next five minutes wondering how many lost items that damned Chevron has claimed over the millennia.

Miles 567 - 570
Look with growing concern for the familiar blue signs that indicate an upcoming gas station as the gas indicator flirts with the E line. Receive all the blame for not stopping at the last one. Find one. Fill up. Continue on.

Mile 771
[All I wrote here was "Skull Valley Station," apparently I thought that would be enough to remember whatever happened there. All I can say for sure is that we got gas. Oh, this might be the place that had the pizza-slice-shaped, strawberry-flavored marshmallow snack - whaaat?]

Mile 969
Pull over to rest at 2a.m., fatigued from driving for 13-14 hours (depending on the time zone). Quietest cat decides now is a good time to hop on the dashboard and start meowing sporadically at nothing, other cats fight for position, some on my lap, and the vehicle is filled with the stench of cat feces (unusually smelly tonight, their owner tells me). The aural/olfactory/cat-claw-piercing-skin stimulation is enough to keep me awake for most of the next 45 minutes, when I finally give up and go to the trunk to pull out the last 4-pack of energy drink, one can of which promptly explodes with absolutely no explanation.

Mile 1,110
Stop at the Flying J, a big ol' truck stop with lots of truckers and trucks. Buy several different kinds of liquid energy and fuel up. Corral an escaped cat back into the car.

Mile 1,209
Pull over again - apparently 17 hours is my limit. Exhaustion overcomes cat distractions, sleep for a few hours. Upon waking, passenger becomes driver.

Mile 1,413
Stop for gas at another big travel center where the station attendant calls the car "Little Blue." Suddenly realize that there have been flip-open knives on sale at every counter since Nevada, including the one in this place. There have also been signs on the doors saying no firearms, three times the normal amount of chewing tobacco product and signage, and even some classy hunting-themed wall clocks.

Mile 1,729
Stop at Speedie Mart for gas. Loomis armored car driver eyes us with what seems to be undue suspicion - perhaps a car full of animals was involved in an attempted heist once, or something. Passenger decides to continue driving, but only until a Taco Bell is located - food has been forgone since a burger each at a Burger King over 1100 miles ago.

Mile 1,930
A Taco Bell is finally located, the feast begins. While eating, an adult softball team comes in, they are "The Outcasts." As time passes, their name seems more and more apt. One player, whose jersey says Midget on the back, reminisces about a good game they once had, saying, "At least we didn't lose by 33 that time."
The rest of the team looks like the cast of an underdog sports movie - there's the guy who's perpetually red-faced, the "nerdy" one who calculates shit, and so on. There's even a little girl named Emma May Dolittle. Wonder whether the team they played is eating some fancier dinner somewhere, wearing jerseys that say "The Winners" or "The In Crowd." Ooh, or "The Win Crowd."

Mile 2,535
Stop at a service plaza in Ohio, discover that Ohio lottery games are rigged, capture another escaped cat, continue on.

Mile 2,830
Arrive in Rochester, NY, 52 hours after leaving Lodi, CA.
Transport cats and stuff into house, then it's off to Amtrak.

Miles ?? - ??
The next train to New York City is at 5:47am, take it and arrive home in Queens at 2pm.


Items of little consequence:
On the plane, the seatback satellite TV featured both an hours-long 9/11 special and the episode of The Twilight Zone in which there's a gremlin on the wing of a plane.

Twice while parked, the car leaked a green fluid, there were also occasional sputters of the engine and at one point a squealing. All of these were ignored and nothing came of them.

While waiting for the Amtrak train in the pre-dawn hours, a black cat emerged from the bushes and walked across the tracks.